I remember the first time I went zip-lining at Lake Tahoe a couple years ago. It took my whole family to convince me to even consider going since I am badly afraid of heights. The only reason I agreed to go was because my step-dad bribed me with new books and ice cream.
When the workers started strapping me in, I started crying. I wanted to back out because I was so afraid. I felt hopeless and helpless. I cried and cried and there was no way of comforting me, so my dad just pushed me off the ground.
After I finished screaming, "OH MY GOOOOOD!!!," I realized just how beautiful my surroundings were. I slowly started to appreciate and actually enjoy zip-lining. I even went again with my siblings in Hawaii and I volunteered to go first!
College, so far, has felt like the first time I went zip-lining at Tahoe. It took me a while to even consider going to San Diego State, and when I finally agreed, it was only because of their outstanding (and affordable) nursing program. Although I felt absolutely lost and hopeless during my first couple weeks, I am now starting to value my time here in San Diego.
Since my first week, I have made new friends in the nursing program. I have met friends that go with me to Bible study, the gym, to the library, to the dining hall, or to even join a co-ed fraternity with. I am starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and even going beyond what I am usually comfortable with.
Last week, I was having a hard time in college. The work was finally starting to overwhelm me, and the people that I have been spending time with were not the best of influences. Although I saw my family two weeks ago, I still missed the feeling of being home and seeing my best friends whenever I could. I was feeling lost, so lonely, so tired of having to adjust and pretend that everything was okay.
However, the Lord started working some wonders in my life. I have found a steady group of friends to go to places with and do homework with. My friends from home started checking up on me for no reason -- asking if I have done my homework, read my Bible, or gone to the gym. I have found an intimate youth group, and other freshmen on campus who love and serve the Lord just as much as I do. I have a lady from church who, in my eyes, has been acting as my mentor. The sadness that I was feeling just started to go away.
I finally started to see the goodness that surrounds me. There was no reason for me to miss my family or friends all the time. There was no time for me to dwell on what I don't have, but rather everything that I do have here. It may have only been a month, but a lot of things have changed.
I have been blessed with a huge opportunity of being in an amazing nursing program. I have been blessed with a church -- I didn't even have to go looking for one! I have been blessed with a suitemate who I can spend 24/7 with, just doing homework or talking or watching movies with. I have been blessed with a close friend from middle school who visits me every Wednesday, just to catch up and make sure I am happy here.
So, why be sad?
No reason. No reason at all!
I am so blessed beyond measure, but it took me a while to see it because I was blinded by my new surroundings. With my eyes now wide open, I can see just how much the Lord will help me grow this year. I am slowly starting to see the beauty that surrounds me, rather than focusing on my fears.
I can guarantee you one thing: no matter what you're going through, slowly, but surely, it gets better.
>> Here are pictures of some friends, places I hang out with, home, views while at SDSU, and of course, selfies.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9Bm0_JG8V86eklJWXdpMkNxaW8/view?usp=sharing
Much love,
Annika :)
