First Week at State

August 30th

I have been at university for one full week now. I cannot honestly say that I'm having an amazing time or that I love college, but I cannot say that I hate it here either.

Every single day I have been here since move-in day has been a different overview of how college will be during the next four years. From academics to night life to friends to student involvement to youth groups to boys to all the partying that goes on here, I feel as if I have experienced it all. It's crazy: every freshman I have met wanted to experience everything that goes on in college during their first week. For me, it was a way to see where to go, what to avoid, what to do and not to do, who to talk to and who to ignore. I feel as if I have set a foundation for myself at this school.

I don't know how else to do this, but to go by sections. This whole week has been pretty crazy that the only time I have found to write is now - while I'm doing my laundry.

FAMILY

First off, I want to start with my family. I can't say that I miss them because that would be a lie. I miss the craziness in my house, the constant company, my sister being on Skype all night, my other sister driving us crazy about her wedding, and all that jazz, but I don't really miss them. Is that mean to say? I haven't really been feeling homesick either, since I call and talk to my parents every night. I check in after dinner every night, and let them know that I'm doing alright. Other than that, it still feels like I am only on a tiny retreat almost, or a vacation, and I will be home again to see them. I only have until next Friday, too, since I'll be going home for my brother's birthday and Labor Day weekend.

SLEEP (or the lack, thereof)

The second thing I want to say is that I have not gotten a decent amount of sleep ever since I moved in. At first, I thought it was because I was just scared of being in college. However, I started feeling as if it was just more than that. I would be tired late at night, yet I cannot sleep. I would exhaust myself during the day, yet I cannot sleep. I would meditate, listen to instrumental classical music, watch the news, read my most boring books, relax by the pool, and none of it would work. And if it did, I would be out for five minutes, and I'd wake up all over again. One thing did work: crying myself to sleep. I watched If I Stay and Listen to Your Heart in one night, and I cried a river, then fell asleep. It felt so amazing to have slept 4 straight hours that night. I'm still trying to find ways to help me knock out at night. Hopefully, I find one soon because surviving in college with very little sleep is exhausting.

My constant place of peace while everyone is sleeping

ACADEMICS

My main focus in college is my academics. I plan to end the semester with a GPA over 3.5. I cannot have anything lower than a B (which means, yes, no B minuses either) in order to stay in the nursing program and in San Diego State, per my parents' rules.

I'm taking Bio211, a lab for that, Chem 102, a lab for that, RWS 100 (writing class) and a small and big section Comm103 (oral communications). So far, I have been loving my classes. My schedule is pretty far apart that I have a lot of down time, which has allowed me to read my books and do my homework and even get to know other people while waiting 1 to 2 to even 4 hours between classes. My favorite classes so far are my small section Comm103 and my lab for Bio211. The people in them, and the teachers make the class a fun place to learn at. I do not feel like it is a chore to go to class, and believe it or not, I look forward to those classes everyday. I feel very comfortable in those classes, unlike my 250-500 students lecture, where I know you really have to put in the effort of getting to know your professor.

My chemistry class is my most dreaded class, which is weird because I LOVE Chemistry. However, with the 200+ students in there and the non-air conditioned room has made the classroom an impossible place to learn on a regular 90 degrees Fahrenheit San Diegan day. It is unbearable. Most of us have fallen asleep in class, my teacher would even sweat through his shirt, and everyone just felt way to hot and sticky to process whatever topic the teacher is rambling on about.

STUDENT INVOLVEDMENT/YOUTH GROUP

As for student involvement, I have joined a couple ones. First, I looked for a nursing organization, which in my school is California Nursing Student's Association, which is exclusive to all of the nursing majors in my school. The second I looked for was a health-related club, where I could grow not only with nurses, but also with aspiring doctors, kinesiologist, nutritionists, dentists, pharmacologists, and more. So, I signed up for Aztec Professional Pre-Health Organization. The next thing I looked for was a youth group. I am particular about the things we do, and the things we learn about, and the Bible used. I never thought that I'd find one until a guy I met led me to a club called Intervarsity. In my mind, I thought it was only for Christian athletes because there was something like that in my high school. I ended up going with five of my friends just for the free pizza. I didn't know that it'd end up being the best youth group I have been to at this school (although a little more contemporary for my taste, I've checked out three other ones and didn't like them at all). After that night, I am now in constant contact with three ladies from that youth group, and we are starting a Bible study soon! Those were the only clubs I ever planned on looking for, but a sophomore who I have been looking up to as my mentor recommended a cultural club called Asian Pacific Student Alliance. Through that club, the two of us have a "mentor-mentee" relationship and I am able to join a certain aspect of my club depending on my interests and personality, which in my case would be APSA Media. I cannot express enough just how much I am looking forward to this. The upperclassmen I talked to said that the members involved on APSA Media film, direct, act and play a bunch of acting games (YES, IMPROV, TOO!). I am so excited because it will be my way of continuing my love for performing while pursuing my future in the medical field.  

FRIENDS(and boys)

I have not forgotten about my old friends at all. Last Saturday, my best friends Gwen and Bryan and our friend Chris came to San Diego to come visit me. They saw my residence hall, met some of my suitemates, my new friends, and then took me out to downtown San Diego. I could not have explored that area without them. It was such an amazing Saturday because their presence made me feel like I wasn't even really growing up or leaving the city I am most familiar with. They took me out to a bakery called Extraordinary, an expensive restaurant named Croce Park West, and then the park to talk. They also took me to Target so that I could stock up on real food, instead of the overpriced junk they sell at the markets on campus.

I have been in constant communication with my friends in high school (through Skype, call or text) and we have all found the time to catch up on our experiences so far while being away from each other. It honestly hasn't been that bad. Although I miss their company, I know I'm going to see most of them in November for Thanksgiving break.

As for making new friends here, it hasn't been too bad. Luckily for me, one really good friend from middle school (Brooke) and two friends from high school (Alan and Kritika) have been hanging out with me. When we meet new people, we tend to introduce everyone to each other, so we have been pretty successful in making friends.

 I have one particular new friend I spend 24/7 with. She's my suitemate, living in a single right next to mine. Her name is Dee Dee, and she's been a very good company. She's nice and sweet and sarcastic and eats constantly yet doesn't gain a pound. For every single event that has happened at this place, she's been there and I am honestly so freaking thankful that I'm not alone. Other than her, we have met a couple other new friends we constantly have been hanging out with. We've formed a mini group, and I can honestly say that it has been fun.

After lunch

2AM with Dee Dee

sleep over!!!

we finally made brownies

I'm going to talk about boys, too, because it's college and I'm a girl and that's a normal thing to do. Boys have never been a concern for me because I tend to be friends with mainly guys. They're relaxed and there's never drama and as long as you were okay with them playing video games every time you hang out, then the friendship will work out perfectly.

Let me tell you - college is a whole another story! During my first night here, I noticed how a lot of the guys would check out a girl before even talking to them. They'd put their arms around the girls, flirt with them, and then ask them if they want to go back to their dorm. The guys here also use girls to get into frat parties, and then leave them there to fend for themselves. Of course, I'm not saying all guys are like that, but the majority of the male population I have encountered during my first week have been like this. Needless to say, I am scared of the guys here.

You think I'm kidding, but on Tuesday night, a bunch of guys were hanging out at my suite and I decided to leave the room and go to the common lounge on our floor instead. One of the guys from the suite went to the lounge, and asked me to hang out with him. I said no. He then said, "Why not? You can come hang out with us."

I said, "No, thank you... I'm scared."

He laughed and said, "I don't bite, you know."

And I said, "Yes, but you're a guy and I don't know you and you're not even from this floor."

And he just laughed and said, "Alright, but if you change your mind, come join me."

It was so embarrassing, for a college student to be scared of a guy who is inviting her to hang out with him and his friends. Every time I saw the same guy, he would smile at me and invite me to hang out with them and I just keep on saying no. Maybe someday I'll surprise him and say yes... as long as it's with a dozen other girls.

I'm not completely scared of them - I have talked to a couple ones. Some are nice, some are creepy, some are just kind of people you say hi to and nothing else. I have been able to make two other guy friends other than my high school friend Alan, but it hasn't come to the point where I would hang out with them without Alan. I mean, I tried a couple times, but the first time ended up horribly and the second time, his roommate had me fooled that he was another guy (although it was kind of funny, I felt pretty stupid).

On an adult (kind of) level on the topic of guys, I am not looking for someone here at my school. I'm praying to God that if He does end up putting a man in my life, he ends up being from church. After all, my number one love is God, so I wouldn't want to be with a man who's number one love isn't God.   

SOCIAL LIFE(hang outs, night life & adventures)

The main thing my friends and I do here on campus to hang out is eat, watch movies, work out, swim and play some kind of game. We sound pretty lame, but honestly, we have been way too lazy and busy to take the public transportation to go to the beach or explore San Diego.

There was yesterday, when Brooke and I decided to explore Old Town San Diego. It was awesome. We took the trolley for the first time, and we met so many people, and we saw so many things and we ate such delicious authentic Mexican food. There were so many nice people when we went on the trolley and when we walked around old town... maybe because there was a Chargers game and everyone had a good vibe about the game (although they did lose 15-16 Seahawks).

Nightlife here is the main event. There are things called Aztec Nights, in which the student body holds different events for the students on campus. This weekend, it was a drag show, a carnival and a Barnyard Bash. I went to the carnival, but left ten minutes in. I attempted to go to the Barnyard Bash, but my friends and I ended up hanging out and having a sleepover.

There are tons of parties here. I thought when they said San Diego State was a party school, they meant every weekend. No one told me that parties would be going on every single day! How these people party on a Monday or a Tuesday and manage to wake up for an 8AM class is beyond my comprehension. There are so many students who come back either trashed or faded, and someone has to take care of them until they finally knock out and sleep. Of course, with these events going on, there are also a lot of sirens going on. Cops on every corner, making sure that no one is in danger.

Luckily enough, my building doesn't have parties going on. No ragers, or dagers (day ragers, apparently) or anything like that. However, a lot of people end up inviting their friends from other buildings and suite parties end up happening instead. No booze or drugs from what I have seen (from my suite, especially), but loud music and constant socializing and party games are happening. People would leave between midnight to 2AM, and the rest of the suitemates who don't party just hope to God they get some sleep. Thankfully, my suitemates are considerate and ask us if they want to turn down the music whenever they're up late at night.

ANYWAY... 

I met a guy here named Evan and he laughed the other night while we were walking around because I was wearing my high school senior sweatshirt. He said, "Man, you really haven't let go of the past." My question is: how can you let go of something you've known for four years? The way you were, the things you did, your family, your friends, and everything that made you who you are back in high school. I have seen a lot of my friends transform: once an innocent 14 years old to a regular party-goer 18 years old. And then there's me: still the same 14 year old Annika, except for maybe a few mental and spiritual growth. Surely not physical, I have been 5'0" since sixth grade.

When I read about heading to a university, I read about change and transition. Although you do end up becoming more independent, enjoying the freedom, balancing school and parties and discovering your true self and interests, I don't think anyone should focus on changing just because they have entered college. I have personally seen a friend go through a whole makeover, wardrobe change, take over other interests, and start partying just so she would fit in with the other "hot girls" in college. She focused so much on making friends and meeting boys and having the best time of her life that she, at times, loses her sight on her future, her career, and her dreams.

Stay being yourself. Just do you. If you do feel like you need to change, then change for the better. Grow, learn and explore. Don't do it for anyone else, but for your own benefit and happiness.

College has been one heck of a ride. As for me, I just remind myself of one quote whenever things get kind of rocky (mostly due to the lack of sleep and the excess noise), "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." So think positive, and focus on your success. No one will motivate you but yourself. And let me assure you, the future is bright for all of us.

still explorin' the campus // art building

Much sun,
Annika.