An Open Letter to my High School Senior friends

05 April 2016

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams." Thoreau

Dear my senior friends,

I hope you enjoyed your senior year. Now that you've sent your college applications, have received your (most) college letters, it is time to enjoy your last days in high school. Time to get ready for prom, for graduation, and keep your grades just good enough not to get rescinded.

When I was a senior, I let go off all of my worries after getting accepted to college. I spent time with my friends, lowerclassmen, and even some of my teachers. I ditched a couple classes to make some good memories, went out for coffee with friends I haven't talked to since sophomore year and made sure I let my teachers know just how much I appreciated all the work they helped me with.

I hope you're doing some of these things.

I know high school seems like it kind of sucks sometimes, but trust me, sometimes I miss high school. I miss the workload, the teachers who inspired me and helped me become the person I am now, and being forced to see my best friends every single day.

Once I got into colleges and chose the school to go to, I felt free. But scared. I felt free because, wow - a college wanted me! I have my fall semester planned out! But at the same time, I was scared because I won't be living at home. Although my school is only two hours away from home, it's still far enough for me to miss it.

So, this is mainly for my friends who won't be living at home next year: it will be okay. I know that most of you just cannot wait to get out of your house, but at the same time, you have a tint of fear that you won't like it where you go.

College is difficult to adjust to in the beginning. I have to be honest and say that I cried a lot. I called my friends from home on a daily basis, wanting their company more than these losers who live in my building. I ate alone most of the time. I stayed quiet in class.

But if there is one thing I learned, it is that you have to try to get out of your comfort zone. Talk to new people, introduce yourself to the other freshmen in your classes, and join a club you're interested in. College is so big that you'll definitely find a home.

I met 100+ other students during my first month here, but I still only talk to two of them. Eventually, I joined a co-ed fraternity, a club, and an association for my major. Within these things, I found my home. The girl who cried almost daily during the first month eventually made friends and found her will to grow as an individual.

But what if you end up not liking it at all?
What if you end up hating your major, your school, the people around you?

It. Will. Be. Okay.

We're young - it's not too late for change.

It's normal to change majors, or even to change universities. I know a couple friends who changed their majors the first month of school, or even at the end of the semester. I also know a couple people who have switched from university to the next.

The most important thing is that you are happy where you are, and you feel that you are provided with the opportunities that you are looking for, whether it be through clubs or networking for your major.

What I learned the most from university is that you grow every day. You mess up, and you learn from it. You get to try new things you never even thought you would do (like me joining a co-ed fraternity), and you become friends with people you never thought you'd meet.

It's okay to be scared, especially if you go out of state. But remember one thing: you'll be starting a whole new chapter in your life. Make the most of it.

When summer comes, make a plan. What you want to pack, what you need to buy, what you want to explore, goals you want to accomplish while in college. I encourage you all to just go for it. The possibilities are unlimited. You get to create your own path and be inspired to do something you probably wouldn't have thought of in high school. For some of us, college is one more step in reaching our dreams for the future.

So, cheers to all my senior friends. You only have a couple more weeks to go! Have fun, and make memories. Then, the next thing you know, you'll be off to begin a new adventure.

I cannot wait to see what college has in store for all of you.


With love,
Annika



P.S. I watched a lot of youtube videos about my college (SDSU), what to pack for college, what to expect in college, what I wish I knew before college. If you have any questions, feel free to talk to me.

Dedicated to: Jessica Oh

It Didn't Go As Planned, but That's OK

January 29th

Nearly a year ago, I was still doubting if I truly wanted go into the medical field.

Growing up, I've always wanted to be a teacher. However, around sixth grade, I decided that what I really wanted to do in life is act. I wanted to be "an actress-slash-director," as I used to say. Everything that I did surrounded acting -- workshops, theater, solo performances, recitals, auditions, LA trips, Orange County High School of Arts, Glee, Newport Beach Film Festival, movies, film classes, screenwriting classes, and multiple friends in Hollywood. That was the life. 

I was so set on pursuing film and theater in college that I even toured the sets of Universal Studios, UCLA, USC and Chapman University Film Schools. I networked with alumni and current film students at USC, ready to ask for letters of recommendations. I had so much passion, so much drive, and (as I humbly say) talent that I had confidence I would succeed in Hollywood if I pursued this career path. My whole family and my friends knew what I wanted and what I was going for -- they all supported me unconditionally.

However, life works in mysterious ways.

My high school required juniors to intern at any location where they would be interested in working in the future. My first plans: LA agency or a production company. I job shadowed and volunteered at Newport Beach Film Festival that spring, wanting to see the ins and outs of popular film festivals. I had already talked to old acting teachers, and an agency I once auditioned for -- if I wanted an internship in LA, I could have gotten it.

One day, my mother said, "You already know a lot of things in the entertainment industry. Why not explore medicine?" I had grown up surrounded with science -- my step-dad is an engineer, my mother (and most of my relatives) is a nurse, my brother is a Biology major. I had competed in Science Olympiad, Academic Pentathlon, attended science fairs, and presented science projects at the Nixon Library. I had the love for science, even though I never thought of it as a career choice.

I listened to my mother (as we always should). I decided to apply for an internship at UCI Medical Center, along with 24 other students from my school. We did three rotations, spending two weeks in each rotation.

During my rotation at the Acute Rehabilitation Unit, my life turned into a rollercoaster. Going in, I told my mentor that there was no way I would ever consider nursing. "I don't want to be like my mom," I said. I focused my rotations at the medical center with physical therapists, not nursing. However, as time passed, I found the work of physical therapists to be unexciting.

I ended up following a bunch of nurses during all my three rotations instead.

You see, nurses are like the backbone of a hospital. They take care of the patients, communicate with families, assess conditions, and even though they are qualified to do the work of a doctor, they still had to clean rooms and wipe butts. For me, that was humbling. 

I cannot tell you how confused I was about my life right there and then. All these years, I have focused on networking in the entertainment industry. I wanted to be an actress! If you know me, you know how indecisive I am. Just to get an idea, I had to flip a coin the other day because I couldn't decide what to eat for lunch. Acting was the one thing I was sure of.

But then again, life works in mysterious ways.

The Lord put a patient with osteoporosis in my life for one week. This patient became my muse. She helped me see that maybe I should give nursing a try. Maybe, just maybe, I've been focused on the wrong thing. Maybe I can be a nurse and become a teacher, like what I wanted when I was just a little tiny munchkin.

I told my mom at the end of my summer that I'm going to apply to nursing schools. My mom, at first, laughed. She did not believe me. I have a reputation of being the most sarcastic child, so I didn't really blame her. She didn't even believe me until she actually saw my college applications.

During the course of my senior year, I kept on testing whether I really belonged in the medical field. I took my Basic Life Support certification (CPR, First Aid, AED) just to see if it'd maybe freak me out. Then I took my phlebotomy certification; surely, getting blood from another human being would make me back out. My externship for phlebotomy was even at a not-very-nice hospital; I wanted to see if I'd hate working with medical assistants who gossiped all day and patients who didn't speak a lick of English. Instead, I enjoyed the process of getting those certifications and met amazing people along the way.

Fast forward, I am now a nursing major in a 4-year BSN program. When my mom told me that nursing school was hard, I didn't completely believe her until I actually started college. As freshmen, multiple students already failed a class. The program had to keep readjusting requirements so that the majority of the students would not fail. I heard of first-semester sophomores failing out of the program, and dozens who were changing their majors. So many people want to become nurses today that programs are starting to get harder.

Personally, I believe that I will pass nursing school. It'll most likely take most of my sleep, my social life, and my mind but I believe that with the guidance of the Lord, family, and friends, anything is possible. 

School gets tough; after all, we have to earn our degrees. However, as long as we remind ourselves of why we decided to pursue our career paths in the first place, we will get through. Sometimes I cannot help but think, "What if I decided to pursue film instead?"

But then I continue to think, "Well, what if I decided not to even consider becoming a nurse?" Imagine all the friends I wouldn't have met, the school I wouldn't have attended, and the professors I would not have learned from.

I wouldn't trade anything for the experience I have gotten this year at San Diego.

This post is more for me than for anyone else. I get too stressed out with my academics and the extra-curricular activities that I am doing at my university. So once in a while, I must remind myself of how funny life can get. Today, I am confident that I will become a nurse. In the future, who knows? Maybe I'll end up pursuing my acting career.

Just remember this: In anything that you do, have passion. Let whatever you are pursuing be the fire to your fuel because if you do not have the enthusiasm, you are risking your happiness and success.

Your whole world isn't revolved around academia, even though it's an important aspect. Start a habit, get involved in clubs, organizations, or Greek life. Pursue leadership, personal growth, and charity. Focus on what makes you happy while still focusing on academics -- after all, your future career won't be the only thing in your life.

Some of my friends say that I have a "cool" life when they hear about the things I have done or people that I have met. However, I do the things that I do in order to figure myself out. I don't know who I am, and I'm not particularly great at anything -- so why not try different things to help me find myself along the way? As Albert Einstein said, "I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious."

Quote of the day: "Anything that gets your blood racing is worth doing." - Hunter Thompson


Much sun,

Annika

Walks and Thoughts

January 25th

There is one quote I found online that really got to me:

"Thoughts come clearly when one walks."

Over the winter break, I hiked a lot. However, since I am now back to school without a car, I just take walks on campus. I mostly go in the evening alone; I look for places on campus where it's quiet and beautiful. There are some spots where no other students go, especially in the evening. Most nights, I stop at a certain hideout and read my Bible or listen to music before going back to my dorm.

Potato Chip - San Diego

The beautiful thing about taking evening walks is that you have some time for yourself.

Personally, relaxation is something that I'm terrible at. I know a lot of people can't wait to go home, take a bath, drink tea, eat ice cream, and watch their favorite TV shows. Some people even work out to relax. I've tried it all - I hate baths (it's like sitting in your own filth), drinking tea isn't really relaxing, eating ice cream makes me hyper, and watching TV shows makes me too emotionally attached to characters, which stresses me out even more. I can't even talk about working out; I have a complicated way of motivating myself, and trust me, it is not relaxing it any way.

However, when it comes to hiking and walking, relaxing doesn't seem so hard. For one, walking is a very simple task that has been embedded in our bodies since however old you started walking.

When I go for a walk alone, I put my earphones on, but don't listen to music. I like walking and knowing that I can just wonder off with my thoughts. There's no music, white noise, or people talking to influence my thoughts.

Art Building - SDSU

I like thinking about how my day went, of ways I could have done things better, about what I'm doing tomorrow. I like wondering about how my family is doing, what my best friends did that day, or how my classmates did on a quiz. I like the fact that I can simply think, and not have to answer to anyone.

Although I still take a walk alone every night, I also started going on nightly walks with some of my friends from the nursing program. It's different from walking alone, but it still feels just as beautiful. Not in a relaxing kind of way, but in an adventurous kind of way. I have seen the school in a different perspective; we have gone to places on campus I have never thought to explore alone. These adventures have been fun, and I have gotten to know my friends better from these walks. I have seen sides that I don't see when we're studying, or only walking to class together.

Some pictures from walking with friends:

 

I know you're thinking: what's the point of writing this?

Well, like what the quote says, thoughts truly do come clearly when one is on a walk. Try it out. The world is too fast; things go by too quickly, and rarely do we ever have a chance to slow down and enjoy the small things around us. Go on a walk alone, and take a deep breath. Try to empty your mind of things that are too stressful and unnecessary. Block out the bad, and think of only the good.

I'm glad I have finally found a way to relax. I always thought that I'm the kind of person who does better when under pressure, but now that I have a place to destress, I find that I think, feel, and act better when I'm not tense.

This is just the first step of my year of growth. I can't wait for many more to come.

Remember this: "Little by little, one walks far."


Much sun,

Annika :)

Year of Growth

January 16

Oops, I haven't posted in a while...

Well, here's the summary since Thanksgiving break:

 
√ Finals week = ended with a 3.3 GPA
√ Winter Break = over on 19th
√ Lots of hiking
√ Lots of family time
√ Lots of friends x adventures
√ Lots of church time

√ Lots of reading [for fun]
√ Lots of food runs
√ LA adventures x my best friend's birthday

So, 2016: Year of Growth

This is the year I have dedicated for my own spiritual growth and mental maturity.

Since 2015 was the year of transition - high school to college, house to dorm, small to large church, dependent to independent, minor to 'adult' - it is now time to grow from the transition. Now that I have gotten used to college, new friends, long distance friendships, networking, processed food, and sleepless nights, I believe that it is time for me to spend a year for myself.

I am the type of a person who thinks that it is selfish for an individual to think about himself first before others; however, one of the things that I learned in 2015 is that it is important to spend quality time with yourself.

Palos Verdes hike - Jan 2nd

My "Resolution" for this year is to grow. I aim to grow as a Christian, as a lady, as a child, friend and student. I aim to mature, not only mentally but also emotionally and spiritually.

I have two main goals:
1) Grow in my walk with the Lord,
2) Take good care of myself.

I want to be the kind of Christian that walks the walk, rather than talks and maybe walk. I want to live the Christian life; to have a more intimate relationship with the Lord, to pray more, to be cautious of the things that I think, say, and do. My goal is to praise Him in all that I do, and to serve Him in all that I can. I don't want to be the type of Christian who only calls for the Lord when I need help or when I am buried with burdens. I want to thank Him for all that He does for me; for waking me up in the morning, for letting me arrive safely to wherever I need to be, for giving me the opportunities He has given me. I aim to read my Bible everyday and pray everyday and spend time with only the Lord.

Like what the children song says, "Read your Bible everyday, and you will grow, grow, grow." 

Apart from my spiritual walk, I am dedicating 2016 to good health. Taking care of myself doesn't only mean taking my vitamins every morning, losing 30 pounds and eating vegetables. It also means starting and  continuing  quality, daily habits. I aim to drink more water, eat healthier, keep clean (especially my room), walk more, sleep earlier and wake up earlier.I will be spending more time on meditation, making sure to keep my mind at peace and my heart at guard. 

Making my spiritual growth and physical health my first priority has never happened before; yet I believe that when I put God first, and treat my body as His temple, I will grow in ways more than I can imagine.  

So, we'll see, 2016. 

I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me.

I'm heading back to San Diego in just a couple days - spring semester, I'm ready for you.

My quote of the year: "Let your faith be bigger than your fear;" after all, how can I fear when Jesus is near? ♫ ♬ ❤ 

Much sun,

Annika

winter break through instagram - @annikadaph